Rock Revenge:Alex's StoryBy: Candy J. Starr
But it bugged me too. I’d fired myself up for this confrontation. The rush of red-hot anger and need to be icy-cold fought within me. I’d rather punch him, knock him down, kick him with my boots but that was no long-term plan. He’d bruise a little then recover. I’d had other schemes: breaking his hand so he could no longer play guitar, shooting him in the stomach. But they were just anger-fuelled fantasies.
I wanted this to be a slow, lingering revenge. The kind that cut the ground out from under him.
He’d gone to the bar for a drink and some guy chatted to him, a kid with long, stringy hair. It’s not like Alex’d leave his guitars on stage for long, though. He’d want them packed away somewhere safe.
I wanted to do something to teach him that money couldn’t protect him. That some actions had consequences. I wanted to wipe that entitlement from his life.
He couldn’t avoid me forever.
Some jerk glanced in my direction. The slightest sign of encouragement and he’d have wandered over, asking if I wanted a drink and trying to make conversation. I gave him a killer stare, enough to chill him to the marrow. The last thing I needed was someone chatting me up so that I missed my opportunity.
I leaned against the wall just by the door, and surveyed the room. It wasn’t the ritziest place I’d been in, that’s for sure, but the sound system was obviously top notch. It was a musician’s club, you could tell. Everything had been designed for the purest sound. That didn’t happen by accident. Either Alex made it like that or he’d seen it and wanted it for himself.
Now the busty blond who’d been working on the door hung off him. He had no liking for her but he didn’t discourage her either. He wouldn’t. He’d play any woman who showed interest. They were good for business. He gave them just enough to keep them sticking around without pushing any further. She laughed too loudly and thrust her breasts at him. He took a half-step back, not enough that she’d notice but enough to put some space between them. Smooth.
When he finished his drink, I wondered if he’d order another one or finish packing up. He sat his glass on the bar and grimaced, then walked in my direction.
My heart thudded, louder and stronger than that bass had been earlier. This was it. This was the moment I’d been waiting for. I’d stay icy cold. I controlled my breathing but my heart didn’t respond to that. Like in a nightmare, I felt rooted to the ground, not able to move. This was it. This was the moment.
He kept his head down as he got closer to me. No eye contact, no acknowledgement. That made me hate him more, like a cowardly worm trying to wiggle past me.
I thought I’d have to block his way to get him to look at me but he stopped in front of me and looked me in the eye.
“Dee-cakes,” he said.
My heart shrank to the size of a tiny pebble. That’d been Jake’s nickname for me. The name he’d called me since I’d been a baby. Hearing Alex use that name rattled me.
“Don’t call me that. Don’t ever call me that”
I folded my arms. He moved closer. That jerk thought he could use the force of his sexuality to divert me. I’d not be swayed by that, though. My heart beat faster and chills shot through me but I’d never be attracted to that brute again.
He locked our gazes, not answering. He couldn’t hold my stare.
“Why did you do it, Alex? Why did you kill my brother?” I spat the words out.
He sucked his breath in. “It was an accident. You know that. A rainy night on a dangerous stretch of road.”
He moved away but I grabbed his arm.
The old Dee, the one unable to get out of bed, jumping at the sound of every car pulling up, waiting and waiting… and wanting Alex to make it right would’ve left it at that. Part of me still hungered for that. The ice inside me melted away and I was left with a core of need. Even though I despised myself for it, I searched his face for clues.
“I can’t tell you any more than that,” he said.
In that moment, his eyes almost destroyed me. I wanted to see a plea for forgiveness or a trace of regret but those eyes, normally so soulful, had turned to steel. There was no hint of feeling there. I couldn’t lose sight of the real Alex, the monster behind this facade. I thrust my hand into my bag, running my finger along the crisp edge of Jake’s photo.
“Look at you, with your club and your rock band. Do you think people would feel the same about you if they knew what a coward you are? That you killed my brother through your own selfishness, then ran away like a thief in the night?”
He shook me off. “Leave it in the past, Dee.”
“It’ll never be left in the past while I’m alive. You think you can just go on with your life? You have no heart, Alex. No balls either. If you think this is over, think again.”